McPin peer researcher Lisa shares the complexity of creating imagery for the new Complex Emotions Hub, and why the moth is misunderstood – just like people with BDP, EUPD and CPTSD labels.
Lisa Couperthwaite
Before reading this, please note that this blog reflects my personal thoughts and feelings. If my words seem clumsy or offensive, I mean no harm.
As a lived experience co-investigator for the Complex Emotions Hub, and as somebody coming from an art and design background, I wanted to create imagery for our website and our recruitment materials that felt reflected the work we’re doing.
Creating imagery for complex emotions
Initially, I envisioned black-and-white paintings, reflecting the stereotypes of diagnoses such as borderline personality disorder (‘BPD’), emotionally unstable personality disorder (‘EUPD’), and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) – tears, sadness, rage, and suffering – and I created some pictures based on this sort of imagery.
However, a week or so later, on a beautiful summery day, I was spending some time in my back ‘yarden’, just soaking in the warmth of the sun and watching as my cats stretched and rolled lazily on the flagstones.
It struck me as interesting how favoured the butterfly is in comparison to the moth and yet the only real way to tell the difference between the two is to look at the antenna.
Misunderstood and stigmatised
Much like the moth, people with complex emotions are often misunderstood and stigmatised. We can be perceived as chaotic or invasive and may actually seem like the moths who all too often appear to mindlessly crash into the flames.
However, moths are not drawn to artificial light without reason; they are simply confused and are trying to navigate their way by the light of the moon. Likewise, people with complex emotions act with an internal logic shaped by experience, pain, and the need for connection.
This made me think about how close I would need to get to a moth to be able to determine if it is indeed a moth and likewise, how close would one need to get to somebody with complex emotions to determine a label for them?
Involving people with lived experience
In academic literature the strengths and creativity of people with ‘BPD’ (a term I don’t like to use) and similar are often overlooked, but the grey literature, such as magazine articles and blogs, tells a different tale – one of passion, enthusiasm, spontaneity and humour.
I realised that I needed more than darkness to represent the experience of complex emotion, and this realisation transformed the direction my paintings were taking: I needed colour, light, and motion.
I’m not sure where my journey with the Complex Emotions Hub will take me, but I do know that it will involve many others with, and without, this label and perhaps, together, we can change how the world sees the ‘moth’.
Lisa Couperthwaite is a peer researcher at McPin.
For more information on the Complex Emotions Hub project visit our project page. To see the longer version of this blog please go to the Complex Emotions Hub website.
